remembering dear friends

i was going thru old pictures and i again came across pics of me and my soul sisters when we were just uhugins back in highschool. it never fails to put a smile on my face when i remember all of the kulitan, harutan, bonding, iyakan, and barubalan that we all shared. i guess this is why we all have stayed friends even after everybody went off to college, others went abroad to either study or work after college, some started families of their own and even after a friend left us early to spend the rest of her life with our Maker.

i remember that we were all afraid to graduate from highschool because we thought we'd fail to get in touch with each other again or that we'll slowly drift apart and then eventually, lose the friendship......i guess God was good to us because He somehow made a way for us to stay bonded and for the friendship to stay the same......across miles.......defying even death.

other people have big groups of friends......i only have a number of people i consider close friends.....no, not friends but family.......i guess if it were society's standards that'll be used to measure my popularity, i'll be having a negative score.......still.....i consider myself lucky. these are people who i know will be with me not only when im happy but they are also people i can hold on when my hope is gone......when my faith falters.....when problems test how strong i am.

jem....thanks for believing in me...lam mo na what i mean by this mare.

shy......lola! bakla! hay ano pa nga ba masasabi ko sayo? lagi tayo magkadikit! seriously...thanks for being there pare....pati na sa mga luto mo hehehehe.....

em.......i know we've only known each other for about two years now....i'm lucky to have you as a friend....you make me strive to be a better person (potential ms. universe candidate po itoh grabeh)

shine.......i know happy ka na where you are right now, no more pain and suffering for you my strong friend.
thanks for the mem'ries. miss ka na namin and we'll always miss you.

at sa iba pang mga kaibigan.......it's been one helluva ride......

happiness....

Happiness...why is it so hard to find? this is a commodity that's free and yet very few have it.

is it hard to find because human beings only see what they don't have instead of what they do have?

is it because we are never content and we always want to have more?

is it because we look for our happiness from other people instead of looking inside ourselves?

is it because we are descendants of adam and eve who were the ones who ate the forbidden fruit from the garden of eden?

why is it that when you get into a phase that you think you're already happy, everything goes wrong or hassles come up and then your back into your unhappy state again?

i've been asking myself why it's so hard for me to find happiness. if and when i compare myself to other people, i still consider myself lucky. i have a job that pays well, i do live alone but i know i still have my family even if they're gazillion miles away, i have my share of problems but they're tolerable and i have people who love me and accepts me for who i am.....so why am i not happy? its just that there are times that i feel a gaping hole inside my heart that nobody seems to fill up.

don't get me wrong....im not depressed, suicidal, pessisimistic or all of the above. i do have my moments wherein i feel so damn lucky and i feel like a million bucks.......still there are moments of unhappiness that pass thru every now and then.

i just recently watched Bruce Almighty on cable and i can definitely relate to Jim Carrey.
i have this picture in my head that God is about to strike a lightning bolt thru me just to bring me back to my senses.

maybe the void is caused by me having no time for God anymore.
maybe it's because my soul and my faith needs to be renewed.
maybe i need to do something to make me feel my worth and know what my purpose is.

there are a ton of maybe's.....

In Bruce Almighty, Jim Carrey was asked by God to do a good prayer and this is mine.....

i pray to God that he not only helps me but also others to find their happiness, hope, purpose and worth in their lives.....not only when they ask for it but at the time that they need it the most....when giving up seems to be the only option...when it feels like nobody else is there to help......and when we reach our breaking point, please be there by our side and show us the path to you....amen.

The Angel

You are Form 2, Angel: The Pure.

*this is it...confirmed na talaga...ngayon alam ko na kung bakit fallen angel ang tawag ko sa sarili ko.

"And The Angel rose as holy protector for
all that was created. She fought with honor
and valor to serve the good of the world. But
the coming of the mankind was her downfall; and
end to purity."

Some examples of the Angel Form are Michael
(Christian) and Hercules (Greek).
The Angel is associated with the concept of virtue,
the number 2, and the element of wind.
Her sign is the zenith sun.

As a member of Form 2, you are a person of your
word. You generally keep your promises and
give everything you do your best. Although
some people see you as overbearing sometimes,
you know that you have to stay true to yourself
and do what's right. Angels are the best
friends to have because they are brutally
honest.


Which Mythological Form Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

yeah thats' karma baby and it goes around

"Karma"

Weren't you the one who said that you don't want me anymore
And how you need your space and give the keys back to your door
And how I cried and tried and tried to make you stay with me
And still you said your love was gone and that I had to leave
Now you're Talking bout a family
Now you're saying I complete your dreams
Now you're sayin I'm your everything
You're confusing me
What you saying to me, don't play wit me, don't play wit me
Cause....

What goes around comes around
What goes up must come down
Now who's cryin', desirin' to come back to me
What goes around comes around
What goes up must come down
Now who's cryin, desirin', to come back

I remember when I was sittin home alone
Waitin for you til 3 o'clock in the 'morn
And when you came home you'd always have some sorry excuse
Half explaining to me like I'm just some kind of a fool
I sacrificed the things I wanted just to do things for you
But when it's time to do for me
You never come thru
Now you wanna be up under me
Now you have so much to say to me
Now you wanna make time for me
Whatcha doin to me, you're confusin me
Don't play with me don't play with me cause

I remember when I was sittin home alone
Waitin for you till 3 o'clock in the 'morn
Night after night knowing something goin on
Wasn't long before I be gone
Lord knows it wasn't easy believe me
Never thought you'd be the one that would deceive me
And never do what you're supposed to do
No need to approach me fool, cuz I'm over you

Gotta stop trying to come back to me

IT'S CALLED KARMA BABY AND IT GOES AROUND.....*eViL sMiRk*

how evil do u think u are?

I am 36% evil.

I could go either way. I have sinned quite a bit but I still have a bit of room for error. My life is a tug of war between good and evil.

Are you evil? find out at Hilowitz.com

This sooo god damned true. Nuf said.

emote mode part 2

i've been listening to a CD of good songs (c/o shy *wink*)....romantic songs if i should say which brings forth emote mode again....this is the song that made me cry not coz im depressed but coz it touched my heart.....

ANGEL
Sarah McLACHLAN

Spend all your time waiting
for that second chancefor a break that would make it okay
there's always one reason
to feel not good enough
and it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
oh beautiful release
memory seeps from my veins
let me be empty
and weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight

in the arms of an angel
fly away from here
from this dark cold hotel room
and the endlessness that you fear
you are pulled from the wreckage
of your silent reverie
you're in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort there

so tired of the straight line
and everywhere you turn
there's vultures and thieves at your back
and the storm keeps on twisting
you keep on building the lie
that you make up for all that you lack
it don't make no difference
escaping one last time
it's easier to believe in this sweet madness oh
this glorious sadness that brings me to my knees

in the arms of an angel
fly away from here
from this dark cold hotel room
and the endlessness that you fear
you are pulled from the wreckage
of your silent reverie
you're in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort there
you're in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort here